What is a Rockaholic? Or more politely –how does one recognize one? Or how does Eleanore find the time to care for Victor's neglected children?
A few years ago, I was so seriously addicted to rockin that I began a Pacific-Rimica’s Rockers Group.. It was very much a Masonic construction and needed many neophytes to contribute to my own rocky collection. I lost the first page, so I leave it to you readers to edit, to fill in the blanks. Being German and therefore believing in strong apprenticeship programs I have developed this vertical hierarchy.
Pebbles: -- These were to be the primal grit to my rock lusting greed.
Contribution:-- Full sack fulls of Large U.S.P.S able boxes (13.95 flat rate size ) of rocks collected from their local environment.
Rocks-- The neophyte rockhound has now become a full Rook/Rock of the order.
Contribution: Having so evolved they would provide me with wonderful "Suiseki" specimans complete with a loving Daiza to sit upon. These would be well oiled and need to have suggestive but not blatent sex appeal.
Boulders :
Contribution : A Moclips rock or the equivalent. Garnet or quartzy stuff also appeals to my crowlike appetite.
Montana Grande :
Contribution: Nothing less than climbing the Superstition mountains in mid-summer, finding the Lost Dutchman's goldmine and being generous enough to tell me all about it.
Holy Schist:
Contribution : A rock collected from a cataclysmic event. EX: Rocks of earthquake spittle – fissures, or from the caldera of an active volcano.
Grand Tectonic Plate:
Contribution : A rock of extraterrestrial origin, either by a direct meteor hit, or by the gifting by an alien being.
A former president of the Bonsai club has promised to teach me how to make daiza for Suiseki rocks. His Moclips rock is simply breathtaking. I put this link in to explain that these beaches are now off limits. The following rock would never be oiled and somehow I doubt it would ever come to auction! He and his wife have become honored boulders.
Other General Guidelines!
Due consideration is given for karmic addresses such as Pebble Way or Boulder CO. (this would kill me later on.)
No membership applications are given out for persons living in mudflats.
We appreciate and grade up applicants for posting genuine and newsworthy events to post to other members.
Same for posting good rock hunting sites.
Rock philosophy is also greatly appreciated. EX. “Rub the boulder, never get Older.” “Quakers make you awaker.”
Rock Poetry is also much sought after and appreciated.
Remember don’t take this membership for Granit. There are rules for excavication.
EXAMPLES
Any person caught day-glowing a rock
Attaching accouterments such as plastic eyes of rocks.
Giving your rock a wardrobe or other obscene acts like registering them to vote.
Purchasing or manufacturing a rock with artificial materials. You Tuffa members know who I am talking about.
Recent news!
Our first two members were Hoya Senft of Santa Cruz CA. and Cherie L. Korer of AZ. Bill and Marie Simpson of Sequim have been the most recent. By sheer quantity and quality of contributions they have become lifetime "Honorary Boulders." Having gifted me with the sandstone above, Andrea Laughing Water of Berkeley has joined this year. So has Jan Butler of Port Angeles. For her ant like toil in the local fields Mary Ann Stephens of Sequim. The rock wall below says it all!
MAJOR GRITTY EARTHQUAKING NEWS!
Due to the influence of Diablo John Campbell, the Grand Tectonic Plate has reluctantly stepped down as your leader. The fact that his modem was faster than mine and that his contributing address of Stone Rd. simply undermined my own.
Some people simply have no scruples, not that I am saying that about John, but do remember that Herb “Schoenberger” Senft, formerly the Holy Schist is no longer the Grand Tectonic Plate. So, I implore you rather than rolling your rocks to John at Stone Rd, Please send them to ME!!, on WRIGHT Rd. It is the right thing to do. My mother Maria Schoenberger(Beautiful Mountains) would agree.
A last minute, minor edit from Hoya, a daughter of mine. She suggested that I provide an alternate rock clinic page for disturbed patients. "Some kind of crystal therapy I know you so admire. Touching those amethyst innards for awhile -- listening to Yanni."
Yanni??? I was thinking of some Andean flute music. Those Inca guys really rocked! Actually as I am approaching the crumbling granite age, I have been looking for a recovery site. Quartzite AZ. perhaps; in the meantime I'll get just get back to my wall.
Jim Scharshmidt and Elainore Garthwait of Sequim are Boulder material for sure as these pictures will show.
Eleanore G. has home schooled Viktor's children as he so carelessly has left them unattended on one of our beaches. Year after year she finds more. He certainly should be spayed. Children need their fathers. Mother's too. Eleanore is providing that special mothering.
(C) Herb Senft 2003
A local rock-yard has a very nice owner. He too had a touch of wickedness to him. We have strange basalt that is interwoven with lines, colors and streaks. It looks virused. After telling him that his rocks look diseased and that I wanted a discount, he got worried.
ReplyDeleteHe told that line to his young daughter. He was worried about their health and feared for the rock yard, as more could get sick.
Next you knew it, the dear child was out there with soap and water, bathing the poor things. She would be in her late twenties now. I wonder if she would remember it?